About MyWebGuySucks
We roast websites (lovingly), uncover what's broken, and provide actionable fixes to make them shine. No fluff, just fast results that boost performance and user love.
Our Story
Founded in 2020 by a group of frustrated web developers tired of seeing great ideas buried under crappy sites, MyWebGuySucks was born from one simple truth: Most websites suck, but they don’t have to.
We started by roasting our own projects (ouch), then friends', and soon businesses came knocking. Today, we’ve audited thousands of sites, boosting load times by 40% on average and turning "meh" into "wow."
Our mission? Make the web faster, friendlier, and funnier—one roast at a time.
What We Do
Brutally Honest Roasts
We dive deep into your site’s performance, UX, and code to call out what’s broken—with humor and heart.
Speed & Optimization
From Core Web Vitals to lazy loading, we make your site fly without sacrificing features.
Actionable Fixes
Step-by-step guides, code snippets, and priority lists to get you from sucky to stellar.
How We Work
Audit & Roast
Audit & Roast
We kick things off with a thorough audit of your website, using our free tool for a quick scan or booking a professional deep dive for comprehensive insights. Our team examines every aspect of your site, from technical performance to user experience, and delivers a candid report filled with humorous roasts that highlight what's broken and why it matters.
Analyze key metrics like load times, bounce rates, and Core Web Vitals to identify performance bottlenecks.
Evaluate SEO factors, including site structure, meta tags, and content optimization for better search visibility.
Check accessibility and usability to ensure your site is inclusive and easy to navigate for all users.
Prioritize & Plan
Prioritize & Plan
Next, we sort through the issues uncovered in the audit, prioritizing them based on their impact on your business goals, user experience, and potential ROI. We create a tailored roadmap that outlines quick wins for immediate improvements and strategic overhauls for long-term success.
Use a prioritization matrix to rank issues by urgency, effort, and expected benefits.
Develop a step-by-step plan with timelines, resources needed, and assigned responsibilities.
Incorporate best practices for optimization, ensuring alignment with your brand and objectives.
Fix & Validate
Fix & Validate
Finally, we implement the recommended fixes—either guiding you through the process with detailed instructions and code snippets or handling it directly with our expert team. After implementation, we re-audit the site to validate improvements, measure gains, and make any necessary iterations for optimal results.
Apply fixes for performance, UX, SEO, and accessibility issues using proven techniques.
Conduct before-and-after testing to quantify improvements in speed, engagement, and conversions.
Iterate based on validation results to ensure your site shines and continues to perform at its best.
What Our Clients Say
- "MyWebGuySucks turned our sluggish site into a speed demon. The roast was hilarious but spot-on!"Sam T.E-commerce Owner
- "Actionable insights that boosted our SEO rankings overnight. Highly recommend!"Riley P.Marketing Director
- "From audit to fixes, the team was professional and efficient. Our conversions are up 35%!"Jordan M.Startup Founder
- "Their audit revealed issues we never knew existed. Fixed everything super fast!"Alex K.Tech Blogger
- "Hilarious roasts but seriously effective optimizations. Our site is now blazing fast."Casey L.Digital Agency Owner
- "Boosted our user engagement by 50% with their actionable advice. Top-notch service!"Taylor R.Product Manager
- "The team's expertise turned our outdated website into a modern masterpiece. Conversions skyrocketed!"Morgan S.Online Retailer
- "Incredible service! The roast was fun, but the fixes were game-changing for our user experience."Pat J.App Developer
- "Highly recommend for anyone looking to optimize their site. Quick, effective, and humorous approach."Chris D.Content Creator
- "Our load times dropped dramatically after their audit and optimizations. Amazing results!"Lee F.Web Designer
- "Professional, efficient, and the results speak for themselves. Our site is now top-notch."Jamie B.Marketing Specialist
- "Transformed our e-commerce platform. Sales are up, and the site is lightning fast now!"Sam K.E-commerce Manager
- "The best web optimization service we've used. Humorous yet highly effective."Alex P.Digital Marketer
- "Our website's performance has never been better. Thanks to MyWebGuySucks!"Jordan L.Business Owner
- "Quick fixes that made a huge difference. Highly recommended for any website owner."Casey M.Startup CEO
- "From slow to wow in no time. The team knows their stuff!"Taylor S.Tech Enthusiast
By the Numbers
Ready to Roast & Revamp Your Site?
Start with a free audit. We’ll uncover the issues and show you how to fix them—fast.
Get Started Free